It’s no secret to anyone familiar with me or my site that I’m in love with writing. I do it damn near everyday, so its only natural that there are a few things that I least like about it. So yeah, hate might be a strong word, but “10 things I least like about writing” doesn’t sound as appealing.
Spoiler alert: Writers block is not on the list, there’s no such thing lol
10) Writing – I’m a fast writer, as some of my author friends have said. My philosophy is this; write fast, edit slow. Writing a novel or novella takes a lot of time, and as a fast writer, I have a schedule. Every morning, I wake up before the sun and write for two hours. It sucks. But I love it. Weird, I know. But WRITING? Why is it on the list? How can it be on the list? Well, for the most part, creating a story is hella fun. It’s exciting and is my own transporting time machine, all-in-one device. I can leave this shitty world in an instant just by sitting down and typing. I love that. And I feel free. But sometimes…sometimes…writing can be a drag. Your fingers can’t keep up with your brain, and the words just don’t tell the story that you constructed in your brain. It’s stressful. By no means am I a perfectionist, unless I have my writer hat on. Which is basically, all the time, so I guess I am a…whatever… Anyways, even without that fan base that we so desperately crave, you expect nothing but the best, and its hard to live up to that. Because in my opinion, there’s no peak in writing, there’s always room for improvement, so the pressure is always on for you to be better than your last story. Again, my opinion. But to sum up how I feel most of the time, here’s a quote.
9) Marketing – I suck at marketing, because I suck with people. I want to be left alone to create, and keep creating…FOr me, at this stage, it’s all about the story and I could care less about selling a billion copies. Don’t get me wrong, it’d be dope, but I’m all about the craft right now. But if I want to write for a living, I must crawl out of this shell, interact, and tell people that I’m an author. Introduce them to the beautiful world that I’ve created. I’m working on it, I really am, but as an indie author, it’s difficult… not impossible, though.
8) Blurb – Usually it takes me 2-10 months to write a book…a full blown 60k plus novel. No problem… but once it comes time to write a few hundred words to go on the back of my book, I lose all sense of creation. A short story of about 3k words will be done in two days, while a 250 word blurb will take me at least a week. Yeah, I dislikes the blurb.
7) Taglines – Not the greatest when it comes to short, simple, and sweet. I can write a short story like nobody’s business, but my minimum is usually 1,000 words. A tagline is a few words, something to grab a potential book buyer… I understand the need for them, I really do… but that shit is hard. I won’t touch a tagline unless a publisher asks me to. Pray for me, lol.
6) Elevator Pitch – Didn’t I mention before that I suck with people? When I hear Elevator Pitch, I think of someone asking me “What’s your book about?” God, that is the scariest question in the known writing universe. Friend, family or stranger, I always respond in the same fashion; like, I don’t understand the question. As if I’m some imposter that didn’t really write a book at all. A deer in headlights 100 %. Maybe that’s why I don’t tell people I’m a writer, because that’s always the follow up question. I’ll work on it, guys.
5) Synopsis – The hatred I have for the synopsis is real. I think the list stops here when it comes to things I least like. I loathe this shit. You almost have to redo the entire writing process for it; the idea (the blurb), the outline (summary of each scene or chapter but break it down), then the story (the synopsis). “Tell me everything about your 100 page story in 3 pages, but not everything.” WTF! Writing a book is easy nothing compared to this. They say there aren’t any rules in writing but for some odd reason you have to (no exceptions) write in present tense, which is not my jam. It’s more than just listing what’s going to happen in the story, you have to put your writer cap on and show your skills. I kinda understand why, from a potential publisher’s POV. And I hope to God someday I can get the hang of it, but right now…nah.
4) Overview – A less intimidating way to say synopsis.
3) Recap – Same shit.
2) Summary – *rolls eyes*
1) The Goddamn Synopsis – UGH!
Did I leave anything out?