Here is a super short excerpt from my 2019 Novella, The Angry Whore of the Sea. Enjoy!

The Burning Sword was half the size of the Whore, old and rusty and ugly; same for the men charging from the bowsprit. Thirty pirates with swords and knives and fists, a few guns in there, too, and they were coming and coming hard. Gilly took it upon himself to welcome his old friends. And from The Whore’s hip to the Sword’s tip, the goofy man and his gun went to work. Holiday and Jameson followed. The hostages, well, a few men armed themselves with what they could, but others jumped overboard and took their chances with the sea.

The organized attack came from The Sword. The chaos sprouted from The Whore. And the two parties clashed.

Was it a fight? Of course. Was it a reunion? Definitely. Was it a dance? Fuck yeah, and Goofy Gilly with his knife and gun, took the lead.

Jimmy the talker led the way and Gilly slashed his throat; the man was still trying to talk as he bled out on the forecastle deck. Gilly laughed.

Kenny, who fucked everything that moved, even more than Gilly did, had his balls pierced. Goofy left the blade in there and looked the serial rapist in the eye. He didn’t laugh, didn’t chuckle, and didn’t smile. “That’s for trying to fuck me, you vile shit.” Then he pulled the blade out of Kenny’s scrotum and shot him in the face. When the blood squirted on him, he returned to himself again. Laughing and laughing and laughing.

As Goofy moved deeper into The Sword, more of his old friends rushed past him for The Whore and a few waited for his attack, the ones who had the biggest issues with Gilly.

The fat twins M and M-2 (the brothers had the same goddamn name for crying out loud, the King simplified it) were stabbed, thus ending their presence and complications. Goofy Gilly took out the frustrations of their names on their bellies. Crazy eye Willie swallowed a ball, Tiny Turner too (the biggest, but softest guy on The Sword). One of the King’s dozen dogs got a good kicking that sent the beast flying overboard, and Biggy Buddy (a dwarf) got his face pummeled with fists. Buddy was easy, with his size and all. He’d been the funniest and most likeable of the bunch. See, it was Buddy who had told the King of the mutiny that Holiday started, which led to the battle and escape. Gilly dropped his gun and his knife and pounded the little man with a thousand fists. He wanted him to suffer. Yeah, he laughed the whole time, but Biggy was the final note in this poetic death dance.

If you enjoyed this excerpt, download your copy of the full book here for $0.99.